Wrenna.IsBreathing's Blog

Who knew!

wrennaisbreathing — Tue, 17 May 2011 16:44:11 +0000

BAM.Bing.Boom. BWAP.

I cannot even begin to bring anyone up-to-date, but I’ve just got to share a piece of my bliss.
First off, I’ve got the best job I could possibly have right now. I work at Next Adventure in Portland, OR. For the last few months I’ve been solely working in the climbing & footwear department (which I love) and here shortly I will begin to work over at the paddle sports center. I’ve learned so much since I’ve moved to Portland (just about this time last year) it’s just craziness. WHO KNEW?!
I anticipate being in Portland for about another year before I venture south-ward. The plan as of now is to attend Prescott college in Prescott, AZ. Though I haven’t applied and really don’t even know where to begin the process, but – that’s the plan.

Life is great.
I take the ACA ICE next week (Sea Kayaking – Instructor Certification) and then turn 20! Woop.

Thank you to all who have supported me in following my bliss, I wouldn’t be here without you.

“…but the world does not know me…”

wrennaisbreathing — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 09:32:41 +0000

Into The Wild. Gosh, what a film..
There is so much to do, and so little time, but so much time, but not ENOUGH time.
…At work today a large robust man told me I looked durable, like I could handle being on a fishing boat making $2000 a week. Another conversation I had lead to the idea of me being a regular volunteer for Audubon and slowly working up to habitat restoration and working with kids outdoors teaching them about birds. – I want to connect some dots. I want to climb, kayak, work with kids and have money as well as be durable. But which order do I put things in? Also, where will school come in? I still want to take spanish classes and math classes next year and then slowly work my way into school again, but I still don’t even know what I want to study or major in and I don’t want to go to school until I know that.
There are things I want, like a video camera, before anything else in my amazing life is missed, but then that expense will set me back a bit. – I need a large sum of money. I’m thinking about donating eggs, or an egg. I think women make like $7,000 doing that, but there are requirements for that too so, blah.
I’m still loving life, in fact the more I do what I want, the more fun I have (obvious statement, or not?).
One drawback being here though is the distance from my family. I miss my dad, my aunt, my cousin and her kids.. and I miss my mom and my brother too, who I never see anyway, but I still miss. And lastly, I miss my grandma. I just want to lay with her and hear what she has to say about things, about life… But who has the time?
What I would give to press PAUSE on life and return when things such as visiting family were complete…

Lastly, I am loving this sweater that old lady told me to get.. it’s red, and lovely.

I dunno, what is it?

wrennaisbreathing — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:20:17 +0000

This morning began with gulping water in attempts to cure the horrible hangover caused by the classic high school go-to, Potters.
Though it sounds like a dreadful start to a day…it wasn’t. To tell you readers (all two of you) the truth, not much brings me down these days. At all. Life is absolutely wonderful. .. Aaaaanyway. After downing 4 jars of water, I tip-toed out of my friends apartment and trotted to my vehicle (Sally, I love her). After zig-zagging and looping all around southwest Portland while on the phone with my dad, I landed at a tiny classic-style diner. They were playing classic jazz and I ordered the Alamode, a mediocre omelet. I sat at the bar alone, eating my omelet, reading my book and LOVING my hazy life.
After my breakfast adventure at 8 am I headed home, then changed my mind and headed to Goodwill where I had a conversation with a lovely older lady who was convinced I needed a sweater (even though I was wearing a down jacket). Ironically enough I ended up with a sweater with a tag that read “Essential”. After the sweaters I b-lined for the kitchen things, who knows why but for some strange reason I love the kitchen section of Goodwills… anyway I found a cup for the love of my life, Casey Schein and then on my way out I saw… well I don’t know what I saw because I still don’t understand what it is, but it was $10 and after the woman at the register convinced me it was a “conversation piece” I walked out of the store with a sweater, a cup and a I-don’t’-know-what.

My life is FANTASTICLY ironic. I love it.

Juice & Soup

wrennaisbreathing — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 06:22:30 +0000

The other day I had a yearning to go to Goodwill. There were some things I needed to get rid of to energetically cleanse my life as well as a few things I was looking for (PANTS)… but what I ended up finding was a cookbook.
My interest in starting to cook more food recently has stemmed from the obvious reason of wanting to save money as well as to better my awareness of what I’m actually consuming. Lately I’d been so busy with work that had been living off of burritos and Odwallas. Although I know those aren’t bad things to be in-taking, after getting a cold out of practically nowhere as well as having emptier than empty pockets, I decided that November was going to be a month of change. So after having to leave work 3 hours early because I simply couldn’t handle the head-pressure and then missing the once-a-month company meeting because I was fast asleep with snot practically puddling on my pillow, I pronounced the start of the November diet. Fresh juices, more greens and making all my own lunches for work, instead of using my 30 minutes of lunch to walk to the grocery store and back, microwave (those who know me well are familiar with my hatred for microwaves, so this is not a happy fact) a burrito and rush back onto the floor.
With my two days off I’ve been reading, writing, going on short walks and making food.
Here is my fantastic lentil soup, inspired by my new goodwill cookbook

I’m not sure of what shifts have happened exactly to me as a person in the last 5+ months in the Northwest but I’m changed.

Inspiration Station

wrennaisbreathing — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:49:37 +0000

Could I possibly be any more inspired?! My goodness. Portland is a lot of things, but one thing it is not, is a dead end. The amount of possibilities presented to anyone with their eyes open in this city is simply astounding.
An energetic bubble of art encompasses this city as well as the likelihood of a rousing experience or epiphany around every corner. Most recently I had the absolute pleasure of meeting Tina Berry and Chris Romain, two bikers who are part of a bigger group presently known as the Cultural Recyclists. The gang began as a group of Pen State students bicycling across the country focusing on learning as much about permaculture and sustainability as they could. The group came across Chris somewhere on their journey and he happily joined the ride.
I met Chris & Tina while I was at work (an outdoor store known as Next Adventure in Portland, which I LOVE).
Just a week or so ago Chris was hit by a car somewhere along the Southern Oregon coastline, he’s okay, but he’s got a broken leg and was flown to a hospital in Northern Oregon. As far as I know, the rest of the crew left the bikes in a small town and got rides up north to collect as a group and support Chris in his healing. - I don’t know what will come of their journey, though I know they are headed to San Fran. (after they get back to their bikes, they will continue via two wheels.)
Despite Chris’s misfortune I cannot help but be drawn to either join their group (given they would accept me as a fellow rider, which has not been discussed) or do something similar on my own.
I’m drawn to Alaska, I am drawn to alllll of central and south America and I am finding myself drawn to Spain. – I just started a savings account and of course what I want to spend it on is a trip. A ticket to somewhere. A ticket to adventure, but at the same time I hear a voice in my head and a feeling in my heart telling me to spend the money I save (when I get to somewhere around $900 on a video camera…

(A VIDEO CAMERA?!… yup..)

Because I feel that with a video camera the idea of being supplied with $900 + to adventure and document it wont be so far fetched. I mean, my dad and I won $10,000 so who’s to say I can’t do it again?
There’s so much possibility. It’s just a matter of deciding what I want to do next.

Jumble

wrennaisbreathing — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 02:15:12 +0000

Beginnings and ends are all a jumble.

When I left Ashland towards the end of May, I expected to be gone for two weeks or so. I planned on going up to Olympia to visit the people who nourish my soul and then return to Ashland and figure out what my next step would be. I brought a shy selection of clothing since I knew I would only be around friends, or tromping around in the woods. I had the basic gypsy-kit on lock, because I had hardly been in Ashland for 5 days before I left for Olympia. (I was still equipped from wwoofing in California)

It is now early to mid September and I’m in Portland. I live in the same house I mentioned in the last blog, the one in SE Portland. After a YMCA summer camp job flop I found myself practically penniless in Portland. Thanks to Randy I had a roof over my head and internet connection to link me with job searching. Within a few weeks I landed a job at REI, needless to say I was JAZZED. I loved it there, the training was unbelievably useful and the people were friendly. But after about a month of working there though I realized I was hardly making enough money to cover rent and the commute was 20 minutes of driving on a good day and sometimes even took upwards of an hour, so I planned on getting another part-time job closer to the house to cover other costs. But before I got my second-job hunt underway I got a call from Mike, the Next Adventure manager. (WHAT?!)

Mike left a message asking if I’d come in to chat about a job, after running around the house screaming, I called him back and we arranged a date & time. The interview ended with “Well, we have more interviews to do, but we’ll call you after we’re through to let you know either way”. I got a call the next day offering me the job. So I was stoked, a job at REI and Next Adventure?! What could be better? – But REI wasn’t down. Having an employee work at another outdoor store is considered a “conflict of interest”. So, I had to quit REI. Now I’m working four days a week at Next Adventure and I’m able to cover rent as well as some other costs.

My life has been an endless roller coaster since late January and who knows what will unfold next. But here I am, creating my own dream life.

Next mission: find some friends.

Go ahead, quit your job if you wanna…

wrennaisbreathing — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:18:35 +0000

Here I sit, in a beautiful, beautiful house in South East Portland, blocks away from everything a simple lifestyle could need. Jimmy and Randy own this house together and man, did they hit the jack-pot, it’s unique and beautiful and what they’ve down with the basement/downstairs… WOW, freakin’ brilliant.

Anyway, today the day before I attend the Challenge Course Facilitation Training Level 1. Today is a day for cleaning out my car, which reaks of mold because anytime it rains, my car leaks and a puddle forms both in the trunk and on the floor inside the car. And I’m in the Northwest mind you, and it rains a lot here. So, as I said I will clean out my nasty (but wonderful) little car and hopefully continue on the job hunt.

Yesterday I dropped off my first physical resume at a place called “Next Adventure”. Bad idea… I choked, I TOTALLY choked. That place is amazing. Gear EVERYWHERE. Gear hanging from the ceiling and the stairs. Really, as soon as I step into places like that my veins start tingling with excitement and nervousness. Point is, it would be my dream job to work at a place like that, but I’m pretty sure I fucked it up by allowing the first thing to come out of my mouth be “I doubt your hiring, but…”. COME ON MAN! That’s a HORRIBLE way to say “This is the coolest place I’ve ever been and I bet all of the people who work here are 100 times more awesome than I am and doubt you’d hire me but…” . Blarg. Just. Blarg.

I just can’t wait for training to begin tomorrow. And SPEAKING of which, thank you to everyone who has helped make it possible. Really, I simply cannot put into words how much it means to me. So a big big big big BIG Thank You to Hank Bollinger, Tyre Dawn, Danny Duffy, Jamie Gray and Dominic Allamano. Thank you!

I can honestly say “I don’t know what I’d do without your support”. Truly, this means the world to me. And while I’m doing thank yous… Thank you Tom Shelstad for pointing me in the right direction, the courses you’ve encouraged me to take are not only fun, but a way to get the jobs a dream of. Also, thank you Dad (Ed Keller), Jessica Vineyard and Steve Brown for helping me with my beautiful resume.

I love you all.

I wish I could take a picture of the light beaming from my eyes.

Endless gratitude on this beautiful day.

Calling all helpful angels… are you there?

wrennaisbreathing — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:32:26 +0000

I don’t know where to begin. Literally.
You know, some people are just bursting with beginnings and by saying “I don’t know where to begin” they are in fact beginning. Who knows if that’s what I’m doing now, I can’t tell. I figure if I go long enough, a beginning has got to show up sometime or another.
Well, I am sitting in the Portland Community College Library. There’s a sort of beginning. I have a to-do list open on another window. Why am I here? What do I want to share with you? What do you want to know?
I want to share with you where I’ve been, where I am, what I’ve been doing and what I want to do next. Yes. That it is.
Here we go.
Seriously, this whole beginning thing just isn’t my forté .
I am in Portland. Before I came here, I was in Olympia, WA. Before Olympia I was in Ashland, OR for a little less than a week. Before I was in Ashland, I was in Santa Cruz, CA for a little while. Before I was in Santa Cruz, I was in Ukiah, CA. Well Redwood Valley to be specific. There, I stayed on a small home-steady farm and did different sorts of things in exchange for room and board. I had originally planned on staying on that farm for 6 months or so. As you can tell, that’s not what happened. I was there for a little over a month. The place itself was great and I really appreciated what they had going on, but unfortunately it simply wasn’t a good fit, so I stayed at a different farm up the road for a bit until I felt comfortable enough in taking the next step. I could go on for a while about what I learned there, not only about “sustainability”, gardening, food preparation, goat and chicken care, cob building, herbal medicine and community living/dynamics but also about the inner-workings of myself and how I interact within a group or community dynamic, BUT along with being unsure of how to make all of that even mildly relevant in the coming text, I’ve not yet found an effective way of articulating my lessons in a way that I feel others will fully understand. (WHOA, run-on sentence)
Before Redwood Valley, I lived in a tipi outside of Ashland for a little over a month (The later end of the month of January, on through February). I lived out there in a fifteen footer, across the way from my Cousin Kayla and her husband Ande’s tipi. Occasionally my “niece and nephew” Rowan and Isla would meander over and join me for cheese and crackers, or a little puzzle.
After all of that, here I am. I don’t know if that was follow-able at all (it’s all a backwards puzzle), but forgive me. In my year of not being in any sort of formal English education, I fear I’ve lost what little knowledge I had of proper writing. WOOPS!

I am currently “homeless”.
“homeless |ˈhōmlis| adjective
(of a person) without a home, and therefore typically living on the streets”

I’m living out of my car, have been for a while, and now I’m growing weary of it. I’ve recently tried to recall the last time I had my own comfortable space. And I wasn’t the only one shocked when I realized that it has been over a year. Let it be known: it is taking its toll.
I’ll begin attending EMT classes this fall at PCC. I applied for FAFSA, but I don’t know what kind of financial aid I’ll be awarded or if it will cover the cost of everything. I’d like to apply for scholarships, but it seems that many of them require knowing how much I will be awarded from the FAFSA before I can submit an application. I am late in the game. – Two weeks ago I had no idea where life would lead me, and now I’m enrolled in college and will be registering for classes at the end of the month. Everything is happening so quickly and I have this constant feeling of grasping for something just as it disappears. A close friend of mine described how she was feeling as reaching for a smoke ring, grasping it and then opening an empty hand. I feel like that’s an appropriate analogy for my situation as well.
Everyone I know here in Portland and whose couches I’ve been sleeping on have said that the crashing economy has definitely affected the job market in Portland in an unfavorable way. I am doing my best to listen to their words of experience without allowing them to rain (“Rain”. HAHA. Portland. Rain. Get it? HA) on my “parade” if you will.

Irrelevant Side-note: I seem to be addicted to parenthesis and quotation marks. It’s simply how my brain works. I apologize if it’s caused you any frustration.

I have a clear intention. I know what I want to do, and I think I have an idea of how I want to get there. What I’m experiencing as a drawback at this point in time is my lack of personal income. Thanks to the wonderful people I have in my life, I continue to have a place to sleep at night, but how to get there will soon become a problem if I don’t find a job soon. My bike needs breaks, my car needs gas and I need new shoes.
• I’d like to work at some sort of camp this summer, but I seem to be late in the camp employment game as well. • I’d like to work at a rock climbing gym, but I have got less than a year of experience, and gyms generally look for people with at least 3 years or so. • I’d like to work at an outdoor retail store, but what does a Wilderness First Responder certification do for store work? Nada.

Next week I am taking a Challenge Course Certification training. They’re allowing me to do work-trade for more than half of the cost, but I still need to manifest $300 to cover the cost of the training. Taking this training means a lot to me and I feel like it will be a catalyst in getting me to where I want to be.

I’d like a place to live and I’d like that place to have engaging people. I’d like to have a job, and I’d like for it to be outside. I would like to not be titled as “homeless” because that is not entirely how I feel. I would like for money to not be a constant obstacle.

I would like to feel like I have a shot.

The End

Learn Grow Ask Answer

wrennaisbreathing — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 15:08:48 +0000

SO MUCH LIFE EDUCATION.
Yesterday I learned how to make and build with cob (what a gift!) it was amazingly fun, and not to mention a wonderful thumb and forearm workout.

Life here at Road B is turning up. Connections are being made and I am learning so much about myself as a person. There is a seemingly endless availability if information about almost everything I am interested in here. Specifically gardening, cob building and herbology as well as the beginning of ayurvedic medicine.
So much. and so much more.

This is so much better than going to college!

Recent happenings

wrennaisbreathing — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 16:25:20 +0000

As some may know and some may not, I’ve recently moved to a small 2 acre farm in Northern California. I am here titled as a “woofer”, but I see myself as a student, an apprentice. I am here to learn and grow.
Today is my 6th day here, which feels unbelievably strange to say, for I feel less at ease here in that amount of time with the circumstances of everything than I did in the 3 day stay I had here before. It’s somewhat discouraging, but I feel that a simple shift in the living situation will help with my emotional response to it all.
I feel like an outsider. I’ve not yet been woven into this sensationally extraordinary community. I am here, but I am not. I feel as though I am an enthusiastic newcomer, whose presence has not yet been acknowledged as something significant.

I can’t tell if this is nourishing or damaging to my over-all being. One could debate for both.